I'm Trick or Beat

What my rather forced pun-based title is trying to say is that I'm sort of tired of Halloween related stuff. It probably has something to do with the fact that me and Aiden had a little horror movie marathon over the weekend. I find that I obsess over the horror genre for most of the month of October, then I usually get kinda depressed afterwards (horror can be a pretty negative genre) and usually spend most of November watching upbeat comedies (Steve Martin's the Jerk is always a pick-me-up) . But nonetheless I love a good horror story when I'm in the mood for it.

Frankly, I was very tempted to purchase a $64 hardcover of Weird Science which collected the first twenty issues of the classic '50's anthology series from EC comics, a company known for it's incredibly edgy story-telling that inspired countless writers and film-makers. Surprisingly, the book is being released by Gemstone, a company that publishes almost exclusively Disney-related material. I have to applaud Gemstone for their fine treatment of the material: the book itself is quite handsome, the coloring has been cleaned up and for each book they've gotten a HUGE name to do a forward for the books. Well, not all of the books. Weird Science has a foreword by George Lucas, Crime SuspenStories will have a foreword by Steven Spielberg and Tales from the Crypt will have a foreword by John Carpenter. Now I guess I'm making to much of a big deal out of famous creators saying that an acclaimed comic is cool but I just appreciate that these lauded creators are giving thanks to the comics that inspired them. Maybe I'm just looking for more people to legitimize my favourite medium.

My one problem is that the first volume of Vault of Horror has a foreword by Goosebumps creator RL Stine. Really? Don't get me wrong, I read his Goosebumps books in elementary school and enjoyed them at the time, but he's really not that great of a writer. I guess he's still popular, and I have no problem with him thanking those comics for inspiring him, but shouldn't someone... better do a foreword there?

Still, as I've stated I've never even read an EC comic yet of seen enough bits and pieces of the books as well as pastiches and homages to fall in love with the books and their tragic history. But it's sort of like talking about how Citizen Kane is the greatest film of all time without having seen it, but have seen countless references to it and documentaries about it. I really should get this book but... $64! Geez. Looks like you're on my Christmas list.

Anyhoo, Aiden and I watched some horror flicks over the weekend to sate our horror lust and while most of the movies floundered (despite being famous) they were fun.

The first one we watched was Cube Zero, the prequel to the clever (though imperfect) Canadian sci-fi horror film Cube. For those of you who don't know, the premise of Cube is that people wake up finding themselves in a cube with doors on each side that leads to a similar room (though some of them are trapped). There is no food or water, but there is a pattern to the cubes that hint at an exit. Cube Zero tries to do some interesting things, but ultimately fails. The biggest problem is the unbelievably silly villain who is essentially (as Aiden pointed out) the same bad guy from Last Action Hero. It really feels like a relatively good Cube prequel is being interrupted by a really bad episode of Lexx (and keep in mind I like Lexx). I do like how it ties into the first film, but it really wasn't worth the movie. The first one worked better because we are given very little information about what the Cube is and the viewers only have the characters' theories and their own to work with, while this film just tells you how and why the Cube is. Disappointing.

Friday the 13th was pretty funny, but that wasn't really what they were going for. Don't get me wrong, there are parts of this movie that are scary, but I just don't like the characters enough to want them to win. Also, Ralph, the local loony who tells the kids there all doomed is hilarious and really should have appeared in the movie more. "You're all doomed... DOOMED!" I don't think the film makers intended him to be as funny as I found him but I still think the writers wanted us to laugh at him a little. On the negative side, we see Kevin Bacon's ass and various guys dressed as nevernudes. If you're gay and you're looking for a healthy mix of horror, titillation and Ralph, then I highly recommend it. Still, the final battle is a bit silly and drags on due to the fact that the Last Girl is constantly given chances to either finish off or further subdue the killer but she doesn't take them. The pattern goes like this: girl is chased and cornered by killer, girl finds something to beat the crap out of the killer who drops the weapon, doubles over and seems to be temporarily knocked out or stunned or something, girl runs away some where else with no real plan. This happens like three times and it gets pretty tiring.

Hellraiser was also rather disappointing, especially because I liked the only book I read by Clive Barker. Said book was The Thief of Always and when I read it it quickly became obvious that the book was aimed at younger readers, but I still enjoyed the book quite a bit. Hellraiser, however, is just sort of boring. It's about some jerk named Frank who opens a portal to the afterlife in a run down house and finds himself facing grotesque divine torture at the hands of the Cenobites (not to be confused with Cinnabites, which are a delicious cinnamon treat). Later, Frank's brother moves in with his ice cold wife who secretly had an affair with Frank. A twist of fate has Frank partially resurrected and he convinces his Sister-in-Law to seduce poor idiots so she can take them home and Frank can kill them and drink their blood, which will give him more flesh. Unfortunately, because this is Britain, any scene of passion in this movie is about as sexy as a luke warm fish. Any scene where people are kissing was about as sexy as church. Characters talk about sex but when I look at them I can imagine it being anything by dry, cold and uninteresting. I mean, for a film about pleasure and pain they could have tried to spice it up a bit. And I'm not even asking the characters to be attractive. I just need to believe that these characters would fuck each other.

Finally, we watched Land of the Dead, which was easily the best movie of the four that me and Aiden watched. A lot of Dead fans didn't like this movie but I thought it was a great way to end the franchise, even if the characters weren't all that deep this time around (I can't speak for Day of the Dead, which I have yet to see) but I like the story and it is surprisingly the most upbeat of them. I actually like the fact that the zombies have evolved and have become tool users and in a way shows that the zombies are actually close to becoming human. Sure that might take some of the scariness out of the zombie concepts, but it makes the film more interesting over all. The humans aren't that interesting this time around but there is a lot of great moments. There's a scene in which a character is given a choice between being shot and becoming a zombie and I found it interesting that he chose the zombie, wanting to know "how the other half lives". Not nearly as good as Dawn of the Dead, but still pretty good.

Well, most of the films weren't great, but being able to laugh derisively at them with a friend made it much more enjoyable.

Japan in the Ass

In the event that there is someone who has not been told, I will be spending my next year in Japan, teaching English as a second language with NOVA.

Well, I'm going to Japan for a year provided I get all of my documents in order before this upcoming Tuesday. I know I shouldn't worry and that everything will probably be OK, but I'm a worrier. I worried about this much before getting ready for the interview and now I feel worry again. Worry!

Anyhoo, I got some stuff done today: I was told that I should be getting my passport in two to three business days, which makes me less worried (since I forgot that I could ask them to hurry up for about thirty dollars) but Dad (as my guarantor) said he hadn't recieved a phone call about it yet and that he should have if it was sent out. Worry.

Later I got my set of original transcripts from my university. I also got six more passport photos, when it would have been much cheaper to get 8 when I got the actual photos for my passport. I was out in the rain so when I got to the photo place, my hair was all wet and the resulting picture looked like I had a really greasy comb-over. Yuck!

Frankly, this kind of stuff is driving me mad because I end up second guessing every move I make and am just not sure if I'm doing it all correctly. I'm already planning to spend all of tomorrow filling out all of the documents and double checking to make sure I have everything I need. Worry.

But I am still looking forward to Japan with great enthusiasm. I just know that I'll be able to do a good job on this and that I'll be able to thrive in the culture despite the language gap. I'm not saying it will be easy, but I've had the experience (albeit long ago) of living in a non-English speaking country for a length of time. And frankly, I just need a change in my life and a chance to do some real fulfilling work.

In many ways I'm not sure what to expect when I get there, but I'm told it's pretty easy to buy English literature at a book store and I'm planning to get the Internet (and a computer) for my room on the first few days before (hopefully) my work begins. I know that if I didn't then it would just bug the Hell out of my parents simply becuase I'd be even harder to get a hold of.

I will be living with two other teachers so I won't have to worry too much about being alone. Still, I have know idea if I'll be able to stand these people (or vice versa), but it's probably than living alone. I just think I'd end up becoming a creepy introvert or something. I still have no idea where I'll be living tonight, but frankly, I think I'd be happy anywhere, hot or cold. My parents are already talking about visiting me next Christmas. It would be pretty easy for my sister if she's still going to be staying in New Zealand.

The hours look interesting as well and look like they will range from 4 to 8 hours days on different days of the week (of course, that's just based on an example schedule) and the days I'll get off will most likely be in the middle of the week, which should make things interesting. It was also hinted that I'll probably doing a lot of karaoke as it's common for emp-loyees to hit the bars and go to parties together. Frankly, I think there's no better way to socialize than to massacre songs together while wasted. It's a real bonding experience. Frankly, I've never been involved with work that really allowed me to really get to know my co-workers, so I think I'll appreciate that.

I still don't know quite what to expect when I get there but I highly doubt any culture shock since I'm very much used to being in different cultures and am a lot more mature than when I started (imagine being a "picky eater" type kid when you're living in another country). I really feel like I'm going to be involved with something important to me and that I can finally make the next big step in my life.

Holy Alliance!

The more I hear about the upcoming Marvel: Ultimate Alliance game, the more I like. It looks like it's going to be a lot more polished than the previous X-Men Legends games. Don't get me wrong, those games were a lot of fun, but I had a few issues with them, and usually towards the end of each area, I found myself bored (especially in the first game, since there were only a few locations), though the boss battles were usually pretty good. Now, I'm not expecting Ultimate Alliance to be perfect, but I am expecting it to be a lot of fun.

Now, I'm not good at describing play mechanics like Jordan is, but I'm excited about the use of the Wii-mote to fight and use super-powers, but I'm still not sure what to expect exactly from the Wii-mote. The descriptions sort of paint a picture but I'm so use to classic controllers that I can't imagine it as feeling natural. Still, based on how great the DS is I'm optimistic.

I also appreciate that the "costumes" you can get for your characters not only give you different stats but also different characters. For example, if you have Captain America, one of his costumes is the U.S.Agent, Cap's less-than-stable replacement. With Thor, you can get a Beta Ray Bill "costume" so you can fight as Thor's oddly-named, hideous rival/ally. Hopefully they'll be a few more costume choices this time. The last X-Men game was good but I was very disappointed when they didn't include Jim Lee's X-Men costumes (which were popular with fans and appeared in the 90's X-Men cartoon) but they had hideous costumes that look like they belong to action figures that don't exist. Night Attack Wolverine indeed. My only real costume-related beef is that this game is clearly taking place in the classic Marvel universe, yet Thor is wearing his admittedly cool ultimate costume. I have less of an issue with using the Ultimate Nick Fury (which seems very likely) because he's just Samuel L Jackson with an eyepatch and therefore awesome.

Now all twenty playable characters have not been revealed yet, but I already take issue with Blade and Elektra being playable characters. Maybe if they were unlockable, but I'd rather they used Daredevil and Black Widow rather than a couple of untrustworthy murderers who don't really belong on any main stream super-team. Aside from that, however, it sounds like a great line-up. Still, I'm curious about the notable exception of the Hulk from the initial line-up, which makes me suspect the Hulk might be a major plot point within the game (a boss/unlockable character maybe?) or at the very least will play a large role.

Another element I like is that the game features not only a huge cast of characters (about 140 characters in all) but also all kinds of classic Marvel locations such as Hell, Murderworld, Castle Doom, SHIELD Helicarrier and the Skrull Homeworld (to name a few). Now, as I said, in the X-Men games, some of the levels started to look a like, but in this game it's so all over the Marvel map that I can't help getting excited.

Still, while I know perhaps too much about what's happening in this game already, I'm still guessing what characters will show up and what locations will be visited to give me a geekgasm. So I decided to write about some stuff I really want to see in either this game or the eventual sequel.

Heroes:
Union Jack: If the team were to hit Britain, I'd sure like to see them team up with this badass spy. In all honesty, I mostly like him for the costume, but he's a much cooler British hero than Captain Britain.

Runaways (right): This reluctant super-team is composed of teens (and one pre-teen) who discover that their well-to-do parents are actually all murderous super-villains and they team up to stop them. Unfortunately they have few resources, limited powers and gifts they barely understand and live in LA, far away from the super-hero mecca that is New York City. Since the series is heading in a road trip direction they could easily end up anywhere in the Marvel universe.

Marvel's Western Heroes: I wouldn't be surprised if there was time traveling in the next game and a quick stop in the West might be a fun excuse to showcase the Lone Ranger-esque Western super-heroes that were popular in the fifties.

She-Hulk: She's easily one of my favourite Marvel character's right now, mostly because she has the funniest series and is one of the most level-headed characters. Basically, she's the Hulk's cousin who gained his power set after a blood transfusion only Bruce Banner could give. But she doesn't have his terrible mindless rages (well... usually) and uses her hero-ness to be one of the nation's most famous and beloved lawyers. Unfortunately, she became poison to her firm when the opposition was able to point out that saving the world (and thus, her jury) could be a form of jury tampering. She was then hired by the firm that got her fired and must now try cases without her fabulous green bod. Now she works on cases involving super-human law.

Man-Thing (left): Not a hero, really, but neither is it a villain. It was, however, ordered to be the guardian of the nexus of all realities. Pretty big role for a creature that isn't really sentient. The Man-Thing is a big swamp monster who is empathic and who only reflects the emotions of any sentient creature it encounters. So if any creature is aggressive towards it or afraid of it, it attacks and becomes very corrosive. I always kind of liked Man-Thing, but I'm not sure why beyond the interesting character design.


Villains:
Kang the Conqueror (right): He's one of the most dangerous villains in the Marvel universe thanks to his time traveling. He's already conqueror the future, but is now bored and wants to conquer it in the time of heroes, where he faces the most opposition, just to show he can. He actually succeeded in the clever but overly-long Kang Dynasty story-arc but checking out all of the future's possibilities and preparing for every eventuality. He loses only because he is betrayed by his son.

The Kingpin: He looks like a fat-ass, but he's not. What looks like fat is actually almost all muscle, making him a physical match for even some of the super-powered heroes. But his real strength is his Machiavellian machinations and his tenacity. He's the runs all the crime in New York (and beyond) and though he's been taken out many times, he always finds a way to get his position back. He's also known for tricking super-heroes into beating the crap out of his competition. It's incredibly hard to make anything stick to the Kingpin no matter how much the evidence piles up. Plus, he has some quality henchmen (Elektra, Bullseye and Typhoid Mary) as opposed to the usual dumbass henchman most villains seem to have.

Thanos: When you need a villain bigger than Dr. Doom, you turn to Thanos. A mad titan from another world (populated by space gods) who worships death. Basically, his big plot is just to kill lots and lots of people to impress Death (who's a chick) until she reciprocates his love. He also constantly hunts for the Infinity Gems, which make whoever collects them all pretty all powerful. He did it once before and killed half the universe and almost all of the Marvel heroes. The universe got better.

The Taskmaster: Born with photographic reflexes (he can copy pretty much any athletic skill or maneuver he sees, including martial arts) the Taskmaster can beat most super-heroes in physical combat after collecting all kinds of martial arts just by watching. But what he prefers to do is stay out of the way and teach other villains how to fight. Still, he's a guy who only gets tougher to beat the longer you fight him.



Locales:
Wakanda: It's essentially techno-Africa. This African nation was the most technologically advanced long before any other nation, thanks largely to the vibranium mines across the country. And because of that, it's constantly under attack from villains and various greedy interests.

The Negative Zone: A crazy alien dimension that's filled to the brim with evil, violence and floating land masses.

Monster Isle: Really speaks for itself. Basically, before Stan Lee got into super-heroes Marvel was publishing almost nothing but sci-fi/horror stories with monsters in 'em. Most of these stories take place in the current Marvel universe, but to explain where they went, Marvel created a crazy island where most of those Monsters lurk. An entire level of monsters with a 12 for tall minimum? Sounds fun to me.

The Raft/The Vault/Negative Zone Prison: any one of these three jails would be cool to visit. And if it's to stop a jail break, then the creators could have fun sending an army of lame villain cannon fodder (with some really tough villains mixed in) rather than the usual faceless henchman. A fun idea for a very tough level.

Well, that's just my little wish list for the series, but so far, things are shaping up to be pretty good. Too bad for Jordan since that means that I'll be unloading all sorts of pointless comics trivia on him for each new character or area we face.

Gone NOVA

Man, what a weekend. For those of you who don't know, I travelled to Halifax to be interviewed for work with the NOVA corporation, which would allow me to teach English in Japan. Frankly, I've been getting ready for this for quite a while. In fact, the week leading up to this I was a bit of a nervous wreck. Just when I think I remembered everything, there was something else to do.

I spent most of Friday and Sunday riding on a bus and reading comics and books. It wasn't really all that fun. At around 6:30ish I got to Halifax and got to my hotel, which ended up costing about $238 including meals and such. It was a pretty decent hotel, though I didn't really have time to enjoy it. I spent most of the night getting ready mentally and ironing the Hell out of my shirt for the interview. Unfortunately, the next morning I discovered that I had ironed one of the buttons off my shirt. Luckily, it wasn't that obvious and I don't think cost me any points but it upset me greatly.

I got to my 8:45 appointment on time (I wanted to be earlier, but the first taxi the hotel called for me never showed up). The first interview was really more of a presentation and information session, though there was some teaching practice. It went pretty good, but I knew that it would be the second interview that would count. Unfortunately, I was the last person to have a one-on-one interview, giving me free time between 11:30 and 4:15. I got some lunch and got some comics from Strange Adventures, but that just took two hours and I spent the rest of the time hanging around the hotel.

The one-on-one interview didn't go bad but I tripped up a little in some areas. I was quite nervous and that affected my performance a little and I wasn't sure quite what the interviewer was looking for. Still, I think my role-playing as teacher went really well and I really got to show off my teaching skills well enough. Still, I'm as nervous as sin and I'm supposed to get my answer come Friday.

Anyhoo, I spent that night with friends of the family and was treated very well (as the elderly like to do) and took the bus out of town the next day.

Now if this thing with NOVA doesn't work out I can still try with JET, but I really hope that I get hired by NOVA, as I really like what I hear about it so far.

And frankly, I just want it because I already invested so much emotionally into this last weekend.

Play MSTy for me

I was going to call this post "Thank YouTube" but it's more MST3k-based than YouTube-based. But YouTube started it when I was looking around on their site for TV series openings and stuff when I found that whole (well, segmented) episodes of were available. I've since been watching many of the episodes that I had not seen before but had always wanted too. It's not as nice as having it on DVD but I'll take what I can get. It just reminds me that Mystery Science Theatre 3000 is still one of my favourite TV series of all times.

Even before I had seen the series I was always very interested in seeing it ever since I heard of it on either the Internet (back when it was relatively new and relatively hideous) or on some crappy TV show that shows the funniest clips from other recent TV series. It instantly caught my attention because it was already quite similar to an 80's TV special I loved called It Came From Hollywood in which John Candy, Dan Aykroyd, Gilda Radner, Cheech and Chong heckle clips from silly sci-fi and monster movies. I remember seeing it long ago, so I have no idea how well it holds up. Still, I was intrigued and when I stumbled on to a tape of it way back in late junior high/early high school at Strange Adventures I picked it up immediately. The episode was the Atomic Brain and it still remains a favourite episode of mine.

The show was created way back in 1988 by Joel Hodgson and some other comedian friends in the mid-west. It was put on a crappy little station called KTMA which, when MST3k was airing on it, air almost nothing but syndicated reruns of forgettable sitcoms and action shows. MST3k gained a quick local following although some people didn't quite get it (apparently one person called the show saying that he liked it except for the annoying people talking through the movie). The show was originally improvised and was really not very good (or so the creators of the show admit). Still, it proved popular enough to have their 13-episode season expanded to 21. Nonetheless, it was cancelled due to the station's financial woes.

The series premise was simple: Joel, a janitor at Gizmonics Institute (a crazy science place) is knocked out by two evil scientists (Dr. Forrester and Dr. Erhardt) and forced to watch crappy movies in an attempt to find the film that will drive him insane. Once the film that is bad enough to drive him over the edge is found, then the mad scientists (or Mads) will use it to conquer the Earth. To keep his sanity, Joel creates robots from the instruments that control the film. The robots are the slightly pretentious Tom Servo, the smart alecy Crow and the unlikable Gypsy (I'm sorry but this character just sucks. Bad). But really it's all about making fun of movies.

The series was eventually picked up by the then young Comedy Channel (now Comedy Central) mostly because it ate up a lot of time on their schedule. When it made it their a friend of the creators and TGIFriday's employee Mike Nelson started working on the show and became head writer one season later simply because of his talent. With season two Josh Weinstein AKA Dr. Erhardt (who is barely remembered by fans) and the voice of Tom Servo left the show so a new Mad was introduced (TV's Frank) and Tom got a new voice. The show continued and just as it got popular the shows lead Joel Hogdson left. Part of it was because he was not comfortable with acting and was really more of a reluctant host and the other was that he was disagreeing with producer Jim Mallon about the direction of the show. In the middle of the fifth season Joel's character bids a final farewell to the cast after being freed against his will, and is replaced by head writer Mike Nelson as host. In my opinion, Mike is a better host mostly because of his confidence and that the era he ushered in brought forth more polished riffing.

Well, the series continued with TV's Frank leaving (he enters Second Banana Heaven at the end of season six) and the series was seemingly cancelled at the end of a very short seventh season. Since it seemed unlikely that there would be no more show, the season finale had the characters reaching the end of the universe and evolving into pure love or energy or something (it was pure whatever it was). At this point, Trace Beaulieu (Dr. Forrester, Crow T. Robot) left the show and his character Dr. Forrester exited.

The series was later picked up by the Sci-Fi Channel, where the crew was given a few guidelines (a continuing storyarc throughout the season, sci-fi movies only) but for the most part it was business as usual. The series lasted three more seasons (which where easily my favourite) before being cancelled.

Since then the actors have been involved with many random projects and books. Most noticeable is that Mike Nelson is chief content producer for Legend films and while there has done some MST3k-style riffing for some of the films. Mike's still pretty funny but it's just not the same without the other cast members. Luckily, Mike's also producing RiffTrax, which include film commentaries by him and, in some cases, his friends Kevin Murphy (the second Tom Servo) and Bill Corbett (the second Crow). Basically, they're MST-style film commentaries for more mainstream films (X-Men, Star Trek V, Road House) that can be downloaded and listened two while you watch the film. I found clips of them on YouTube and their pretty good.

The RiffTrax website can be found here. And some great RiffTrax previews can be found here, here and here.

Sorry, if my post isn't that great this week (or ever) but I'm tired and I had to start this one later than usual. Mostly it was an excuse to show that I love MST3k and that RiffTrax are awesome.

Ticked Off

I finally got the first season of the Tick on DVD and I have to say that I'm very disappointed. I don't know if Beuna Vista just doesn't have any love for the show, but this is one of the poorest looking DVD sets I've ever seen.

Now, I have some problems with the first season of the Tick to begin with: the animation is a bit weak in some areas (though some of it, like character designs, holds up rather well), the humour isn't as strong as following seasons and while it certainly has charm the first season, it doesn't quite click. I also don't really like Mickey Dolenz (of Monkees fame) as Arthur. He's no bad really and he has nebbish down but the I prefer Rob Paulson's take on him, who gives Arthur a bit more personality. The problem with the humour is in part a problem with timing and delivery (there are some jokes that I realize I would love in print but the screen fails to deliver) and just poor plotting. Still, there are lots of great jokes, including the Carpeted Man's refusal to take off his super s

hit despite sweating profusely, Stalingrad (a villain whose power is looking like Stalin) and most of the episode "the Tick vs. the Tick" where the two super-heroes fight over the use of the super-hero name. And for the first seasons failings I still like it (though would not necessarily recommend it).

However, the DVD is pretty piss poor. The only thing I appreciate is that the set features a cover with new art by creator Ben Edlund. Lovely. But the menu itself is both bare bones and ugly looking. The menu shows the Tick (Arthur in disc two) standing while wacky things move about the scene while the theme song plays. It doesn't sound too bad when I say it, but it's irritating and hideous. There's no extras (though there are trailers for other stuff before the menu comes up. I hate that), which is a shame because I would have like some Ben Edlund commentary and maybe some more insight into the series, as well as the creation of the character (which he first created for his university newsletter).

Also, episode 11 is missing. Now it's a pretty weak episode ("the Tick Vs. the Mole Men") and I'm not fighting to get it but I just don't like the fact that they would do that. It's the principle of the thing.

Still, I'm looking forward to season two, when things get really good. In fact, I'm going to make a list of the series best episodes, simply because lists are easy for me to write. Must have something to do with my lack of imagination:

Best Episodes of Season Two:

Alone Together: An accident on the moon shoots the Tick into deep space where he's saved by a cosmic entity named Omnipotus. Omnipotus agrees to bring the Tick home if the Tick acts as his personal hygenist. *shudder* Too bad Omnipotus is planning to eat the Earth when he gets to it.

Classic Quote:
(After the Tick convinces Omnipotus not to eat the Earth and teaches him the meaning of friendship)
The Tick: (whispering to Arthur) "I don't even really like him."

Evil Sits Down for a Moment: The vain super-hero (if you can call him that) Die Fledermaus and furniture controlling villainous Ottoman Empress fall in love. It's all fun and games at first until the Empress asks for a commitment. Plus, the Tick is convinced he's an elderly British woman.

Classic Quote:
The Tick: "Oh, look, Arthur! It's a completely rehabilitated villain. She's comfortable with herself. Comfort, commitment, marriage... what do all these things have in common? The letter C! Except for marriage. And if people get all British when they get knocked on the head... what do British people get? I know! Comatose! Another C!"

Ants in Pants!: After the Tick has an unpleasant run in with evil ants, he checks himself into Captain Sanity's Superhero Sanitarium. Unfortunately, Captain Sanity's only idea is to have his Shaft-like assistant Taft ("Yer darn right") fight the Tick in different costumes.

Classic Quote:

(while wrestling each other)
Taft: "I'm your momma, man!"
the Tick: "NO YOUR NOT! YOUR TAFT!"

Grandpa Wore Tights: The Tick and Arthur spend the day at the super-heroes retirement home while the Terror, an elderly villain, seeks a weapon they took from him years ago. Old people are amusing.

The Visual Eye: "Oh, the Ray Gun was terrible weapon. Turned everyone it hit into a guy named Ray."

(Flashes to a sepia-toned city scape crawling with friendly, young gas station attendents)
Ray: "Fill 'er up, chief?"

The Visual Eye: "Then there was the Tommy Gun..."

Best of Season Three:

That Mustache Feeling: The Tick inexplicably wakes up with a mustache, which he obsesses over. But when the mustache begins acting on it's own the Tick begins a decent into madness. Who holds the answer to the problem? Jim Rage, Agent of S.H.A.V.E.!

Classic Quote:
The Tick: "Hey, you have both eyes! You're not a secret agent at all! You're just some guy who hates my mustache!"

Devil In Diapers: The villain Mr. Mental seeks protection, so he hypnotizes the Tick and Arthur into thinking he's a baby. It's pretty creepy seeing a 40-year old man being treated like a baby but it's a funny sort of creepy.

Classic Quote:
None I can't think of. I'm still creeped out by the forty year old in diapers.

The Tick Vs. Education: The Tick teaches an Adult education class for super-heroes. His students: The Flying Squirrel, Sarcastro: Master of Sarcasm, Mr. Exciting, Gesundheit, and Babyboomarangotan. Together they must face ice cream mascot Uncle Creamy and the KGB Agent who replaced him.

Classic Quote:
Ex-KGB Agent and current Uncle Creamy Ivan Rubek: (In with a stern tone and Russian accent) "Hello, children. We are having fun at this time. My carefree antics are winning your hearts."

I Can't Think of a Good Zellers Pun

Well, I didn't get a job at Chapters (damn) but I got a job at Zellers (*shrug*). It seems OK and all, but I don't plan on staying too long past Christmas for a multitude of reasons. One is that if everything works out I'll be teaching English in Japan for most of 2007. Hopefully things will go well with NOVA on Sept. 30th and there'll be a place for me in NOVA. I imagine that if it does go well with NOVA, I'd be heading for Japan sometime between November and January (I checked January off in my application so hopefully that will affect things). The other thing is that while it certainly isn't bad work, it's just something I'm not as interested in sticking with for a prolonged period of time. If things don't work out this time around with NOVA, then I plan on trying again and moving out of my parents apartment. I don't have a specific plan yet but I just want to get some independence in my life and get out of my rut. Maybe into a new rut. Hopefully, if NOVA doesn't work out this time around I'll be able to get some more substantial work with the English Language Programme beyond what I'm doing now (which is nice, it's only about an hour and fifteen minutes a day, on days that I work). OK, that's really more like a few reasons rather than a multitude. Still, it isn't bad work so far.

My work with ELP is really nice (and rewarding) so far, but it doesn't require too much work and I'm really hoping to do more there. Basically what I'm taking part in is recreational activities for the studentsYesterday, I gave a small tour of the UNB/STU campus to some students and today I played cards and some board games with an older Korean woman. Interestingly, it took a lot longer to grow board with War than I thought she would but she really enjoyed Go Fish (which she pronounced as Go Fishy). We also played Boggle and Snakes and Ladders. A good time was had by all.

That's all I can really think of writing about for now... yep.

Conversations with Clod

(By the way, I'm the titular clod)

Well, I had two job interviews today, both of which rather well.

First, I had an interview with Zellers which turned out much better than expected. I wasn't sure even if I wanted to work there simply because I would be afraid it would be like Wal-Mart. I never really hated working at Wal-Mart per se, but I never really liked it that much either. I think I'd like working at Zellers more, partially because I'd only have part-time hours and because the positions available mean I won't have to work in the clothing department again. I feel very confident about the interview because there are plenty of openings, only a few other people being interviewed and the guy interviewing me took a liking to me. Seems he was a "Brunsy" (writer for the Brunswickan) too and said something along the lines of "anything for a fellow Brunsy". Nice guy, but that statement struck me as a little weird, as he repeated it a couple of times and I never really thought of the Brunswickan as a kind of fraternity. But any interview that ends with a discussion of the merits of Grant Morrison's run on X-Men is a successful interview in my books.

Strangely, this is the second interview I've had so far and the second one were I meet people who know comics (though not as much as I, if I may sound like a pretentious snobby ass) as the same thing happened when I was interviewed by Chapters a week ago and found that half of the other people in the group interview were talking about comics. A good omen?

Anyhoo, my other interview was a second interview with Chapters, who asked me a few extra questions. It was a pretty short interview (about 15 minutes) and they told me that I'll be informed within the next couple of days if I have the job. My hopes are up and if I get the job, I'll get 30% off all books and 10% off giftware (plates and stuff). I don't know if it stacks with my iRewards card but either way that's a pretty sweet deal. I'm hoping and praying for that call.

Both jobs start out as part-time jobs but that shouldn't be a problem for me as long as I can balance it along with my part-time work with the ELP, who I have a meeting with on Friday. I know I have that work if I want it, but I just hope whatever work I get allows me to work with ELP too.

Coming Soon to a Rack Near You

The latest issue of Wizard (it's a comics magazine) came out today and had a huge fall preview issue and I just thought I'd go over some of the comics and comic-related stuff that was previewed in the book:

Mighty Avengers: This series will be taking place after the Civil War crossover (in which the Marvel Heroes are split into two warring factions over the issue of superhuman registration) and looks to be focusing on the pro-government heroes. Written by Brian Michael Bendis and Frank Cho (who likes to draw the boobies), this looks to be much more upbeat than New Avengers, but since there's a good chance these guys are the winners of the Civil War I don't blame 'em for being upbeat. The 7-page preview looks really good, particularly the Mole Man's monster army, and it looks to be a return to the classic "Avengers vs. world-threatening villain" stories that have been missing for quite a while in the other Avengers series. Plus, it's good to see Wonder Man on a team again. I keep thinking that writers forgot he existed.

New Wildstorm: I've never been a big fan of the "Wildstorm Universe" (though there are a lot of great series within that continuity), but Grant Morrison and Jim Lee's new take on it sounds like it's going to be a great read. Mixing the flash of the early Image comics with the substance of Vertigo comics, the new Wildstorm books sound clever, fun and, as one expects from Grant Morrison, crazy. Basically the idea is that while most hero comics are accused of being an adolescent power fantasy, Wildstorm will represent an adult power fantasy.

The headlining series will be WildC.A.T.s written by Grant Morrison and drawn by Jim Lee and will be about the Halo Corporation, the first alien corporate machine, run by the alien robot Spartan who has humanities' best interest at heart, whether we want it or not. He gives a cyborg in every home and all sorts of advances in technology but will Spartan and his WildC.A.T.s (who are a group of Covert heroes) give the world fatherly love or a cold iron fist? Or will it be a bit of both?

The other huge series will be the Authority by Grant Morrison and Drawn by Gene Ha (Top Ten). The Authority is a super hero team who plan to change the world for the better regardless of what any government says. Basically, if they existed in our world they would have taken care of Bin Laden, Kim Jong Il and George Bush in the cleanest way possible. The original series was good but failed to deliver on the title characters changing the world, despite overthrowing a few corrupt governments. Creative teams tried to make it work, but it never felt... right. This version will feature the title characters lost in the Bleed (a sort of field where all universes meet), trying to get home and changing every universe the meet along the way.

Gen13 features over-sexed super-powered teens who are on the run from the government. Sounds generic enough, but Gail Simone is one of the wittiest writers in the industry and the promise that she'll give us the sexy humour that made the original so popular is promising, since she handles that stuff pretty well. The artist's name is Talent Caldwell, who I've never heard of. Still, his name sounds talented. Now if only there was a writer named Plot Goodscript.

The other series (StormWatch, Midnighter, Deathblow and Wetworks) don't sound all that interesting, but I wouldn't be surprised if one of them turns out to be a sleeper hit of some sort.

Richard Donner on Superman: Yeah, that Richard Donner will be writing Superman quite soon. Apparently, this is what Superman III was supposed to be until it became a shitty Richard Pryor vehicle. Plus, it will greatly involve Bizarro, who is always one of my favourite villains. Frankly, I don't know how much Donner will actually write as he's co-writing with Geoff Johns (they worked together on conspiracy Theory), whose writing approximately 50 books a month right now. This is definitely the most-hyped book write now, but I'm still not quite sure what to expect. Still Richard Donner has directed some fun flicks before (Maverick, Lethal Weapon, Scrooged) despite some stinkers (The Toy, Timeline) and I'm pretty hopeful for his run on the series.

Heroes: Coming to NBC this fall is a series about people all over the world from all walks of life gaining different super-powers. Apparently, they will have to save the world from an apocalyptic threat but that won't be for a few more seasons yet, assuming the show lasts that long. For the first few episodes, it's just the characters exploring the possibilities of their powers, so for that alone, the first few episodes should be worth checking out. The characters include a Japanese Otaku/salaryman with teleportation and time manipulation powers, a flying congressional candidate, an inmate who can walk through walls, a cheerleader with a healing factor and a mind-reading cop. I hope it turns out to be good, as it has been a long time since I've watched a weekly program that I can look forward to.

Also, this isn't comics related, but I'm thinking that if I get a next generation system, it'll be the Wii. It sounds as though it will be less expensive than the PS3 and just more imaginative.

Comics for my friends

Just as Darcy espouses on the art of cinema, movie making and all that crap, those who know me know that I go on at length about comics. I just love them. In fact, that's why I decided that I MUST write a new weblog entry every Wednesday (new comic day!) And I always try to get others to read comics too, though the results are mixed. Aiden's well on his way to loving them thanks in no small part to Marvel's Ultimate line of comics. Cheesy name aside (may as well call them extreme. No, that's still worse, if by just a narrow margin) the line, which is basically a continuity enema where things are happening again for the first time, is mostly high quality with the occasional minor slip-ups. Jordan reads webcomics and manga but I haven't been able to turn him on to anything outside those aesthetics (though he showed interest in the character of Hellboy). No luck with Darcy, but I don't see him that I often. The Twins read Transmetropolitan and loved it, although it seems to be the only thing I've been able to turn them on two. I've tried other stuff but have not been given a response for most of it. Nathan recently turned to comics after seeing V for Vendetta. He actually didn't like the book it was based on so much, but he loved Alan Moore's other book, Watchmen, which is widely regarded as the greatest comic of all time (I wouldn't go that far but it is definitely in the running) though I don't know if he has explored much beyond that.

What I want to do in this entry is provide some options that might appeal to each of my friends. My purpose is to pick the one great comic that will most likely appeal to the people listed here that they have not read, as well as a few runner ups that I was also considering. Now I can't be positive but I'll also mention what I based my decision on and let you decide. And sure, you probably don't want to spend money on something that's just been recommended to you, but most of these probably ain't to hard to download off the Interweb just as Nathan did.

Aiden: Conan: Yes, that Conan. The barbarian one. But try not to think about the movie. This is much better. Basically it follows the history of Conan, a warrior living in a time on Earth known only as the Hyborian Age (think pre-Babylonian, but much more advanced), who tries to sate his wanderlust and ends up with a greater destiny. The thing I like about Conan is that he's not off on some great quest and he's not a chivalrous selfless hero. He's not really a hero at all, just a guy who wants to find what wonders and opportunities lay over the next horizon. Oh, and gold, food and fine pieces of ass are motivating factors too. Though the series starts with him leaving his home for the first time, the series is essentially the cradle to grave story of Conan who grows and changes as a person with each story. I think Aiden would like this not only because I know he's a fantasy fan, but also because the series is essentially Ultimate Conan. It retells all the classic tales of Conan in a more organic fashion than before (the original pulp books take place in various random points in Conan's life), but still keeps the violent and exciting flavour of Conan's world. The writing by Kurt Busiek (Marvels, Astro City) deviates from his usual style of classic style super-hero books and slice of life super-hero books and really shows that he gets the character and doesn't shy away from some of the nastier aspects of Conan's world. The art by Cary Nord (whom I had not heard of before this book) is absolutely wonderful, assisted by the luscious colours of Dave Stewart. A damned fine book.

Runners Up:
Runaways: A fun teen-action series written by Brian K. Vaughan (Y - The Last Man) that takes a Breakfast Club-like group of kids and forces them to use their newfound power to stop one of the most dangerous super-villain teams ever: their parents.

Astonishing X-Men: Written by Joss Whedon (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly) and penciled by the always amazing John Cassady (Planetary) bring one of the best X-Titles in a long while. Whedon brings the comedy, the plot twists and the character development and Cassady brings the bad ass fight scenes and awe-inspiring visuals

Street Angel: Seeing how much Aiden liked Dr. McNinja (or whatever it's called) I'm positive Aiden would like this series about a homeless 14-year-old ninja on a skateboard. Funnier and weirder than it sounds. Also featuring former black exploitation hero Afrodisiac and CosMick the Irish astronaut.

Jordan: Bone: One of my personal all time favourites. It's the tale of the Bone cousins, three white smurf-looking creatures from Boneville (where everyone looks like that I can imagine) who get kicked out of town after a mayoral election gone awry. Fone Bone is de facto leader and easily the most sensible of the three, Phoney Bone is greedy, cheap and short-tempered and Smiley Bone, though seemingly stupid is just eccentric and is actually quite quick-witted (he's sort of like Hobbes to Phoney's Calvin). While wandering through the desert they all get lost in a huge swarm of locusts and all end up in a huge valley, populated by humans and various talking animals. After spending most of the winter lost in the woods (though making very good friends with the animals) and occasionally chased around by fearsome rat creatures (who aren't really very good monsters, as a real monster tries to make you into a stew, not a quiche), Fone meets up with the beautiful human Thorne and her hearty Grandma Ben. He also finds his brothers in the nearby town of Barrelhaven washing dishes at a bar for a rough and tumble bartender. Everything seems fine at first but soon Fone notices strange things. Why does Grandma Ben refuse to believe in the dragon Fone claims to have seen? Why does it seem that she and the bartender know more than their letting on? And who or what is the Hooded One?

I figured this was a good choice for Jordan since it is a fantasy epic (which I understand Jordan likes) with a good sense of humour and an immensely likeable cast. Though it's full of classic fantasy conventions it doesn't feel hampered by cliches and writer/artist Jeff Smith storytelling keeps the reader on his toes. And, most importantly its just fun.

Runners Up: Hellboy: A very popular book and with good reason. A really unique art style, a very likeable main character (a sort of blue collar paranormal investigator who would rather be drinking brews than facing Lovecraftian horrors from beyond) and an interesting continuity. It should be noted, however, that the first book is plagued with serious pacing problems and doesn't hold up nearly as well as further volumes.

Fallen Angel: Generic title aside this is a strange, witty book by long time Star Trek novel and Hulk comic writer Peter David. In the city of Bete Noir, one of those "city of lost souls" cliches, a young woman, Lee, acts as a hired detective for anyone who will pay and contends with the man who runs the town Dr. Juris. But keeping with the "everything is not what it seems" cliche, Juris and Lee are lovers as well as arch-enemies. Despite everything making it sound cliche, Fallen Angel is a fun quirky series with David's trademark humour and strange, intriguing characters (Ricmond would love the criminal named Asia Minor).

Top Ten: An NYPD Blue-esque series about the cops who work the beat in Neopolis, a city who population is composed of superheroes, supervillains, aliens, robots, monsters, gods and any other things one might find in a comic book. While there is certainly humour, the actual plots and subplots are gripping. Sure, there's comedy (a shape-shifting ass-grabber is plaguing the city, a Godzilla-like drunken dad causes trouble when he tries to break his son out of jail) but there is also some great drama (a cop realizes he's responsible for a prostitute getting murdered, the team faces death and destruction at the hands of one of their own).

Darcy: The Mystery Play: This one-shot from the bizarre mind of Grant Morrison (We3, Seaguy) and with beautiful painted art by J. Jon Muth (MoonShadow) comes this eerie story of a town that holds mystery plays (a very old kind of play in which biblical stories are re-enacted). When the actor who plays God is murdered, a detective named Carpenter arrives to try and solve the mystery. But this story isn't a mystery: it's an enigma. While it's plainly obvious from the premise that this story focuses on religion and the nature of God, it also focuses on madness and humanity. The story is short but is full of haunting images and strange discomforting dialogue. Though Grant Morrison is known for being very weird, this is actually a very toned down work for the writer. It's still quite weird but it's not quite as over the top. This will appeal to Darcy for it's cinematic imagery and it's cryptic story that raises many questions but answer little despite having a satisfying ending.

Runners Up:
Doom Patrol: Also by Grant Morrison. This is a deliciously crazy mix of David Lynch, David Cronenburg and super-heroes. This is Grant Morrison at his craziest giving us sentient transvestite streets, the Brotherhood of Dada, the ghost of imaginary friends, and Crazy Jane, who has 64 separate personalities... and a super-power for each one.

Transmetropolitan: I guess calling this series Hunter S. Thompson in the future is accurate, but I get the feeling that it sells it a bit short. Warren Ellis' most personal work focuses on the media and the nature of truth in a future that's a lot like today... only stranger.

Four Women: A powerful thriller in the vein of Straw Dogs. But while Straw Dogs was about masculinity, this series is about different kinds of femininity. But it's still about survival and what people are capable of... and what they wish they were capable of.

The Twins: Fell: Snowtown is a feral city, no longer fit for civilized people. But people still live there, shop there, eat there and work there. Detective Richard Fell has entered Snowtown to clean it up but it won't be easy considering the precinct is understaffed, the town is superstitious and even his friends and allies aren't quite sane. Warren Ellis created this series in an attempt to make a book that's cheaper than others, for those who can't afford normal monthly comics, but still has a full story. Each issue is a self-contained story so the target audience doesn't have to worry about having to buy it every single month if they can't afford it. Even though the page count for each comic is about 8 less than the average each issue is satisfying like a good meal. And at the end of each issue there's four pages of bonus material including reader mail, commentary and a page from the original script. The reason I chose it for the twins is that it each issue is usually inspired by the strange sort of information and trivia that the twins seem to know and love. Said information and trivia serves the story well, however, and shows the reader how nightmarish Snowtown can be.

Runners Up: Louis Riel: It's the life story of Louis Riel, in comic form. It's much better than it sounds and is probably the best biography I've ever read. Though the writer admits that some of the details are fictionalized (such as the dialogue and the characters motivations, which we could never truly know), the book is painstakingly researched and it shows. I've always known of Riel, but I never really knew how interesting (and nuts) he was until I read this book.

Switchblade Honey: A fun one-shot by Warren Ellis (writer of That Other Stuff I Mentioned By Him) created to be sort of an anti-Star Trek, featuring a crew of treasonists (they all had good reasons) given a ship to engage in guerrilla combat in a war that humanity is losing. Clever and fun, it's to bad it never became a series.

X-Statix: This probably the only X-Title I could get the twins to read, but I'm sure they'd find it amusing. The X-Statix call themselves a super-hero team but the fact is they're really flamboyant celebrity mercenaries. With a high mortality rate, the group is constantly changing members, but most shocking is the new leader the team gets after the last one got fragged. Not only is he inexperienced but he has a moral compass.

Nathan: 100 Bullets: His name is Agent Graves and he gives people a chance to change things. He gives them an attache briefcase containing 100 untraceable bullets, a gun, carte blanche to do what you wish with the bullets and irrefutable evidence that you have been irrevocably wronged. He gives consequence-free revenge. But then, when is anything consequence-free. This epic crime book explores the secret history of America while exploring the human drama of those who are given the briefcase. The great thing about this series is how everything seems to fit together so perfectly. The readers are given hints at the big picture and with each little hint it forces the readers to reconsider all that they've seen before. I figured this is the kind of thing that would interest Nathan simply because it has style character and manages to create a cool noir mood without becoming a cheesy noir pastiche.

Runners Up: Powers: A dark violent police drama about two homicide detectives who specialize in murdered super-humans. Great story and dialogue by Bendis and great animated style art by Michael Avon Oeming add up to a great book. Great. Sorry, I'm tired and my brain thesaurus ain't working.

Preacher: Great. I mean, er-- a violent Western about a Reverend possessed by the son of God and a demon. Now the Rev, his gun-toting girlfriend and his vampire drinking buddy are hunting god to hold him responsible. It might feature a lot of religion but what this series is really about is friendship, loyalty and cowboy justice.

The Walking Dead: What if Dawn of the Dead didn't end? This series is a lot like your average zombie movie, except it keeps going month after month. A small town sheriff wakes from a coma to discover the dead have risen. After finding his family, our hero and his new friends try to find sanctuary and remain sane but things look grim.

Just some suggestions. What do you think?

Once Again, Here I am

I'm back from the English Language Programme's Submarine and now it's time to look for work. Sigh. The only thing worse than not having a job is looking for one. But I had a lot of good times for these last five weeks and there were a lot of good times. There were also a lot of bad times and there were some people who were just assholes. But mostly good. Most of the clients were really eager to learn and some had learned a lot before we were out. There were a few clients who stood out:

David: a Spanish guy who seemed a little socially awkward but was really talkative and eager to learn. He also made this weird sound when he paused in a sentence, which I assumed was a habit that came with learning to speak English, but now I just think it's a sound he always makes when he's talking and then needs a second to think about what to say.

Yvonne: He wasn't in my class but this guy is hard to miss. You know movies where there is a huge overly-friendly Russian guy with no sense of volume control. Turn him French and you have Yvonne. He was a very likeable person but it's always scary to ask him something. For example, I was in charge of tea lounge that night and Yvonne's music was loud and could be heard from his room down the hall. A fellow facilitator went down the hall to ask him to turn in down and I soon heard a loud, friendly voice "YOU DON'T LIKE MY MUSIC?" It wasn't yelling. Just a very loud question. I'd hate him to be my enemy, as even his gregarious voice frightens me and makes me want to cry.

Annie: No funny stories or anything, but I'm just proud of her since she had the hardest time learning English.

Rejean, Lucien, Patricio and Fernand: Very nice fellows. Once again, no amusing stories, but they were incredibly likeable and made teaching worthwhile.

I really enjoyed teaching these people and they made it really worthwhile. A lot of fun was had, people dressed as the opposite sex and I got a polyester Superman cape.

The people dressed as the opposite sex thing (Mr. & Mrs. ELP) was kind of creepier than intended, not because of the clothes thing (but yuck none the less) but when each couple comes out the get to do a dance and most of the dances where salacious and... gropey.

And despite the hardships and awkward moments, I would gladly do this again, though I have no idea what the future may hold. But for now I would like to get some good steady work and have time for my friends. And hopefully move out before I turn twenty five in April.

Still, it feels weird now that I have no current obligations to the ELP. While there is a sense of freedom, there is also a sense of fear for the future. Time to look for work.

I'm back for a bit

Just thought you'd like to know that I'm free until the evening of June 6th.

If you're wondering were I was, I was teaching English as a second language on the STU campus. Basically, the students (and the teachers) are only allowed to speak English for the duration of the programme, so they have to learn without shortcuts. I was teaching section one (lowest proficiency) which was, for the most part, a pretty good class. They were quite friendly and eager to learn (in most cases), but there were a few problems. One was with a Quebecois student who was a good student, but was really hyper. Like 13-year old on a sugar bender hyper. Hyper like a grown 19 year-old man shouldn't be. Nice guy, but very irksome.

The biggest problem, however, was with a young Mexican who just seemed like he wasn't interested in learning. It reminded me of the South Park episode in which they see the wax museum of stereotypes including the greedy jew and the studious Chinese. Randy, pointing at a brown skinned janitor leaning on his mop sleeping then says "look what we have here. The lazy Mexican stereotype." "oh, no" says the Mexican, "I was just cleaning and then I feel asleep. Oh, I'm so sleepy." Hey was not a bad person, but easily one of the worst students in class in that every time I asked him to read a sentence he'd go, "aaaah, come on," then sigh heavily. Come on what? "ah, come on, I already showed up here and take up physical space and now you expect me to participate in an activity? You're crazy!" Still, he definitely learned a few things before the end.

All-in-all it was a really enjoyable experience and most of the people were nice. There were a few jerk students, but luckily there were also a lot of good people. Also, I realize that I like middle aged French ladies. I don't mean I'm physically attracted to them, but their a lot of fun to hang around with and have a better (and raunchier) sense of humour than anglophones of the same age. So for every irritating Frenchman I hate, I'm comforted in knowing that when they become middle aged French women, they'll be much more tolerable to be around.

Things I read while away:

Batman: The Long Halloween & Dark Victory: These two books detail two of the Earliest years of Batman's career and depict Gotham's transformation from a mob-run town to a town besieged by madmen (the Joker, Two-Face, Scarecrow, etc.). The first story is certainly good and the second ain't bad either. Both are murder mysteries (the first involving the Holiday murders and the second involving the Hangman murders, which are a copycat of the former, except the weapon of choice is different) and the ending to both are rather disappointing. I don't know, I like not being able to solve the mystery until the last second, and when I get to the end, it should feel like the killer is the only one that makes sense in terms of the story. Still, here the answers aren't entirely satisfactory. Still, watching the transformation of Gotham is pretty cool, the character development works and the expressionistic style of Tim Sale's art makes Jeph Loeb's merely decent script come alive.

Fell #1-5: This may be the best new comic to come along in a good while. Written by Warren Ellis and drawn by Ben Templesmith (who is now sick of drawing vampires), the series focuses on Detective Richard Fell who finds himself working in a strange and feral city called snowtown. The city is covered in sigils (the sigil looks like an S with a diagonal line through it) that are supposed protect the city from dark forces. So far there is no actual supernatural elements in the story, and if the writer does decide to go in that direction (which seems unlikely at this point) it looks like it will be extremely subtle.

Each issue is extremely well plotted, but what I love is that the writer gives you some bang for you buck. Ellis created this series with the intent to give readers a good cheap comic for those working class blokes who may not have the cash to spend on the casual comic. Fell contains only one ad (on the back cover) and 16 pages of story (as opposed to the usual 24 pages) and costs one-two dollars less than the average comic book. He makes up for the page count by cramming a lot of story in each page without giving it the feeling that the story is rushed. Each story is clever, simple and surprising and manages to fit a great deal of tension and character. Plus, there are four pages of fan letters, script samples and commentary by the writers on were the ideas for each story came from.

And though there are no supernatural tales, the ideas are taken from real life facts and ideas like the true tale of a wife murdering her husband with a rum enema, Cambodian smoke children, the validity of "the Anarchist's Cookbook", floating corpses and the idea that schizophrenic people smell wrong. Plus Ben Templesmith evolves as an artist (and stops drawing vampires) to deliver an art style that I know longer get tired of looking at (he was a good artist before but after a while it would all look and feel the same). This might be the only comic around where I don't want to wait for the trade.

Sandman Vol. 9-10: The books that end the series are really very good, but the climatic ninth book, while great, was a little disappointing. I really preferred the final volume (which is really more of an epilogue which really gives the series a sense of finality. The ending of volume nine makes sense in terms of story and I'd hate to call it anti-climatic, but I still have a few problems with it, which I won't go into here (I may lend it to Aiden and it would spoil a lot for him). there are a lot of loose ends, but that's intentional considering the point of the story and the ideas it plays with (mortality, responsibility and change).

My one desire, however, is for Gaiman to one day give Delirium (the embodiment of crazy) her own series. The dialogue for her character is always good, but it is even better when you can imagine the attitude in which she says her lines. Plus, she's so sweet. It isn't easy to sell the line, "I am walking with a fish" but Gaiman makes it gold! But to be fair, it is rare (or intentional) that Gaiman doesn't come up with an important character who isn't likeable or interesting within this series. Death, Fiddler's Green, Mervyn Pumpkinhead, Cain and Abel (they were in comics before, but Gaiman really made them his own), and Lucifer to name a few manage to remind me why it is such a shame to say goodbye.

Books of Faerie: This one is disappointing. A spin-off from both Sandman and Books of Magic, this series is essentially the life story of Queen Titania (dat fairy queen what shows up in A Midsummer Night's Dream). The writing and art are both pretty forgettable, which is a shame because there was a lot of potential in the story and I never get the idea that Titania is a particularly charismatic, righteous or clever queen and I never get the feeling she's grown from her human roots to the strong queen she appears to be in Sandman. A lot of potential, but no results.

Cable Vol. 1-2: Cable's a character I really really hate. Not just because he was created by Rob Liefeld (though that doesn't help) but more because there wasn't much about him that was interesting. He's a cyborg from the future with an extremely militaristic attitude and wearing nothing but a scowl. There just wasn't any soul in the character. On David Tischman and Igor Kordey's run on the book, they manage to respect Cable's convoluted history and use it to their advantage.

Cable's main goal in life was to kill Apocalypse, who was to ruin the future he came from. But with Apocalypse dead, Cable is without a role to play in the Marvel universe. He soon gains a new motivation: make the future better by fighting in hot spots that no other hero goes to fight: he faces the Shining Path (who are now using mutants) in Peru, ethnic cleansing in Albania (where some ethnic Albanians' solution involves cloning) and facing other threats that are "ripped from the headlines" as they say, and are given a sci-fi touch. It's never as easy as good versus bad. Frankly, most characters in the series are rather unsavoury. Cable knows that he alone can't end these conflicts or save the world but he can save a few lives and stop the conflicts from getting worse. Cable was interesting and different, and it's a shame it was cancelled so quickly.

Avengers: celestial Madonna: Wow, this was... bad. Collecting a supposedly classic Avengers arc from the mid-70's, it follows the story of the Avengers newest member, Mantis, as it turns out she's both the Celestial Madonna (and with birth the universe's messiah) and extremely annoying. She talks in the second person (instead of saying "I want cheese", she would say "this one wants cheese"), which I guess the way Vietnamese martial art monks turned bar girls turned superheroines talk. The art isn't bad for it's time and there are fun ideas bandied about, but the story is terrible. I wondered if it was "good for it's time" but I decided no last night after comparing it to some Avengers issues from the later sixties. It's just bad. Luckily it was on sale in the shop, but if I could go back in time I'd not by this book... and save JFK... and Phil Hartman.

Avengers: World Trust: I was really expecting this book to be good. It's written by Geoff Johns, one of the most prolific and critically acclaimed writers today, and has a nifty premise, but the pacing is weak and it really falls apart at the climax. The premise is that all of the world capitals disappear from the Earth, each replaced with a strange void, and the Avengers are called upon to take over the world until they can solve the Crisis. This feels, simultaneously, too long and too short. It takes a while for the threat to show up and though the villain is supposed to be heralding a greater threat, he's beaten to quick and the huge threat is dispatched too quickly. On the plus side it is fun seeing who superheroes would deal with political problems and Iron Man solving the budget crisis for many nations.

There's is also a great story after the titular one entitled "Heart Broken" in which the radioactive hero Jack-of-Hearts has to spend 14 hours a day siphoning off his dangerous radioactivity in a blank room with nothing to pass the time (any book or game he would bring with him would just disintegrate anyway) and the knowlegde that one day his powers will kill him... and many others. Still, despite that it is pretty disappointing.

That's pretty much what I've read over the Summer, not counting some Sci-fi short stories. But I didn't mention them because none of them sprung to mind as being really great (with the exception of Harlan Ellison's Jeffty is Five, William Sanders' The Undiscovered, Nicholas DiChario's the Winterberry and Bruce Sterling's Mozart in Mirrorshades) I also have already bought 4 more comics (because Strange was having a thirty percent off everything sale and I found a sweet deal at a flea market) so I'll definitely have something to read over the break. Lucky me.

See Ya'll

Though this is my first post in a month, this will most likely be my last post for a while. But then my last post was my last post for a while.

So let's get started.

Where I'm going: Starting tomorrow, I'm going to be living on STU residence as a part of my work with the English Language Programme. Basically, I'll be taking part in SUBMARINE, a program that teaches English to those who know little or no English. The students ages will range from greatly from 18 to... whenever people die. As to my understanding there will be students, business men and people from all walks of life to learn English for whatever reasons (in most cases for work and school).

It's going to be pretty hard on them because when the lessons begin, they will sign an agreement to speak English for those five weeks, and nothing else. There will be word games, social situations, singalongs and all sorts of activities to make sure they are completely saturated with English. Also there will be almost no access to TV or the internet for both teachers and students, so that should make communicating difficult for a while. Still, I'll probably be able to get on the internet once or twice a week. Also, though I leave tomorrow, I lessons don't begin until Monday, so I don't know what exactly is happening on those days (I was told it was a workshop, but what kind remains a mystery.

After the first five weeks, I'll have about a week or so off and then the next 5 weeks starts (assuming they still want me), so I'll pretty much be gone most of the summer. Since there won't be much to do after work, I'm stockpiling some comics to read. And I got a lot, since I'll likely just tear through them after a long work day.

What I've Read Recently:

Switchblade Honey: This one-shot by Transmetropolitan creator Warren Ellis was created when he imagined what it would be like if British foul-mouthed character actor Ray Winstone was the captain of the Starship Enterprise. Though it started out as a dumb joke in his head in which Winstone, a blue collar man's man, was a captain who played dirty, constantly belittled his straight-laced crew and refused to solve problems in a manner that required some bullshit technical explanation.

The final product of Switchblade Honey, however, turned out to be a lot smarter than that. The premise is that the an alien herd-mind (who we see only in silhouette), has declared war on humanity (after some humans ate their kind in what can only be described as a diplomatic faux pas) and humanity is losing. Badly. So badly in fact, that mankind is forced to ask for help from two former high-ranking officers arrested for treason. They are given a fast and powerful ship and their choice of prisoners to make up their crew. After forming a crew made up of talented but screwed up individuals, they are sent out on their own to act as guerrillas. Other Earth ships won't recognize their call sign and they won't answer to anyone, meaning they could run out on this losing battle at any time.

What I like about this one-shot is that it perfectly demonstrates what Warren Ellis is all about: cynical optimism. Like the crew of the Switchblade Honey, Ellis seems to have a low opinion of mankind, but at the same time he begrudgingly loves humanity, despite all of their countless faults and sins. The crew of the Honey know it's humanities' fault that the war started and that they were all arrested for doing the right things when it's inconvenient to their superiors (such as stealing another officers thunder in a manner that saved civilian lives or biting the dick off the rapist), but still, they think humanity is worth saving, even if it means throwing away their own lives in a suicide mission when they could just escape.

I also appreciate Ellis brings back the sense of wonder to sci-fi without resorting to sci-fi technobabble. That's not to say there aren't scientific explanations for the various sci-fi concepts (such as a spaceship capable of turning the sun into a weapon and hacking into enemy ships to open all the air locks), but the creator clearly knows what he's talking about and explains his concepts pretty clearly. As I said Ellis is a cynical optimist and that's generally how he approaches his sci-fi: when we get the big reveal about the sci-fi concepts he's toying with, we are presented with the wonder of discovery and what is possible as well as the ugly side, such as how such beauty can be tainted by mankind's arrogance or selfishness. That's not too say he makes things black & white or even simplistic in their shades of grey. But while his optimistic attitudes in his books usually follow the joy of discovery, this series seems to be more about the redemptive qualities of mankind. Mankind might suck most of the time, but we're still worth saving.

He has a great cast and the story is very entertaining, but I would have also liked to see this as a series. I hope he makes more some day.

Civil War #1: This is the first part of the huge Marvel crossover which begins with the hero team New Warriors (who are supporting themselves with their own reality TV series) hunt down a bunch of escaped super-villains in the town of Stamford, Connecticut to boost their ratings. But it ends in tragedy when the villain Nitro defends himself by blowing up a good part of the town, killing over 800 people.

The reaction to this forces a Superhero Registration Act (which had been floating around the Marvel universe for a couple months) to be passed, splitting the hero community. One side feels it makes perfect sense for super-heroes to work in the employ of the government and become a legitimate part of society. After all, they'll even be provided with training, a paycheck and a license to do what most of them have been doing for free. One of the other side, many heroes feel that this takes something away from them and by giving their real names to the government, they're leaving their loved ones open for attack. Many heroes would rather work for the rights of the people rather than become government tools. Captain America chooses the latter side (he may be Captain America, but it's the people that Cap fights for, not the government) and quickly becomes targeted by an overzealous new head of SHIELD (Nick Fury is MIA). When he escapes it becomes obvious that Cap will become the leader for the renegade heroes, Iron Man, Mr. Fantastic and Yellowjacket become the leaders of the governments heroes. Meanwhile the watcher shows up, acting as an omen of bad things to come.

Civil War is good, but it's big problem is that it didn't exceed my expectations. Though I agree with both sides to a certain extent, the supporters of the Registration Act seem to be the antagonists so far. Still, that's mostly because of the overly extreme reactions of SHIELD and the actions of the government. I like the fact that writer Mark Millar really captures the kind of reaction of the public would have in the wake of this catastrophe (freaking out and immediately looking to place blame) and the last meeting the heroes have before the war begins is also interesting. It kind of gives readers a chance to see who is picking what side and how this will effect the Super-hero world as a whole (expect a lot of teams breaking up). Still, as I said, it sort of meet my expectations in that there were no surprises. Hopefully, that will change will later volumes. Still, at least the Steve McNiven art looks fantastic.

52 Weeks 1-2: Though there have been weekly American comics in the past, most didn't last very long and none of them had this scale. In the wake of DC's most recent giant crossover, Infinite Crisis, the DC Universe was saved and the Earth is still standing. All of DC's series skip ahead a year after the Crisis and it gives all the series to have a fresh start, all while adding some mystery (where has Batman been the last year, who the new Wonder Woman is and are why Superman has spent a year without super-powers).

52 is a weekly year-long series which covers the events of the "missing" year through the eyes of 6 characters: Renee Montoya (a Gotham Detective who was fired and spends her nights getting piss drunk), the Question (a creepy objectivist vigilante obsessed with the truth), Black Adam (a god-like super-villain with a sense of justice who now rules a country in the Middle East), Booster Gold (a disgraced athlete from the future who travels back into the past to become a famous hero), Steel (a engineering hero planning to use his knowhow to help rebuild the world after the crisis) and Ralph Dibny (an ex-detective hero with stretching powers and some suicidal tendencies due to his wife's recent murder).

The epic 52-part story is only begun, but the first two issues are pretty good. Still, I'm going to wait for the trade paperback, but these issues are really bringing the fun back to the DCU. Definitely, this series is about reinventing the DCU, and while Crisis was sort of a commentary on the grim and gritty story telling and the arguments about what super-hero comics should be, this series seems to be about leading by examples of what super-hero comics should be. It's all over the map (in a good way) hinting at many stories to come, all of which seem epic. Booster Gold's future seeing robot seems to be giving Booster bad info, hinting that someone is screwing with the time stream. Meanwhile, Montoya is being stalked by the Question, who may have big plans for her. Plus, someone is kidnapping mad scientists and Steel has denied her daughter access to her supersuit until she proves she's worthy of it. This isn't just a dark super-hero tale or a light one, but it's a little of everything, showing the strength of what super-hero comics are capable of: blending in perfectly to any other genre and storytelling style.

With four of the biggest writers in comics (Grant Morrison, Greg Rucka, Geoff Johns and Mark Waid) working on one weekly series seemed like all sorts of problems. Firstly, weekly series has, for the longest time, has been though of as undoable. The other is the "too many cooks" scenario and finally the scale of the project, but despite all of these potential faults, the series is looking very good and should read very well when all collected.

Good stuff. And I've also got lots of good stuff to read while I'm gone.

What I will read:

Sandman Vol. 9-10: My Sandman collection is finally complete. I'm finally going to read the last two volumes of the Neil Gaiman epic and finish off this amazing series. Unfortunately, I kind of know how it ends but still it's really the journey that's important. I kind of wish I had time to reread the previous volumes since most of the stories will probably tie together and it's been a long time since I've read certain volumes. Still, I ca't wait.

Spider-Man's Tangled Web Vol. 4: Another one of my series is complete. This one is an anthology in which tales are told from the point of views of Spidey's friends and enemies and just people who are effected by is existence. This final volume is mostly the humour issues, though there's a nice looking J. Jonah Jameson origin issue. It also includes "Alphabet City", one of my favourite humour stories about about a loser villain named Typeface (who has a spelling theme) who finds himself stalked by a grammar-obsessed creep named Spellcheck. Hi-larious.

Fell #1-4: An experimental comic series by Warren Ellis where he makes cheaper comics by limiting the page number to 16 and adds more panels to his pages to cram as much story as he can in each self contained issue. I haven't read it, but I like Ben Templesmith's art and, from what I understand, it's never made clear what genre Fell is (even after reading several issues) it seems interesting. It follows a detective in a small, corrupt and creepy town which may or may not have paranormal activity.

New X-Men Vol. 3 Hardcover: The final volume of Grant Morrison's much praised run on X-Men with some great art. Not much to say about this except it's a shame that some far inferior writers did some of the best plot points in X-Men history.

Batman: The Long Halloween & Dark Victory: I always heard these were good, but I never read them.

Well, that's my life. See ya, later.

D for Disappointment

This is sort of late, but Darcy's recent post made me want to write about V for Vendetta, a film that bugged the Hell out of me. Now, I never ask film adaptations to be direct and without changes (though Sin City was as close as any film had ever got. Only noticable difference is that Jessica Alba never showed off her cans). I never think of myself as a "purist" (a disgusting word in my opinion). It's just that the film adaptation of V for Vendetta was good but took away everything that made the original so good. I have no problem with change, but the biggest one was making V a person rather than being more human than human (at the risk of whipping out that cliche. I guess I'll just list my major problems with the film, but cause I like my paragraphs in point form, the simple man's paragraph.

* V is a nice guy in the film. No! Nonononono! V is an enigma. That's how I know him. He often speaks and explains his actions via cryptic quotes from books, plays, film and songs. That moment in the beginning when V appears in an extremely theatrical manner and explains who himself to Evey is essentially how V should be acting throughout the film. He doesn't think like a human. He is above that. He's not emotionless and he can be gentle, but the way he sees humans is the way that humans might see a dog or an insect. He doesn't think he's better than them and he doesn't patronize them (can a man really patronize a dog?) but he wants to help them. If he explained himself fully and bluntly (like he does in the film) then man wouldn't really understand him. He's got to help humanity embrace the proper way of life (anarchy, not to be confused with chaos) with subtlety, which unveils itself as a grand master plan. That brings us too...

* V's masterplan in the film doesn't work for me. Sure he's going to destroy the old order and he knows the ultimate sacrifice he'll have to make, but he seems to trust that mankind will do good afterwards. In the comic, V's masterplan is much more complex and sensible. It makes little sense at first but as we begin to see the big picture, we see how brilliant and masterful V's plan (and Alan Moore and David Lloyd's story) is. He's ten steps in front of everyone and he has no problems letting people know that.

* The film has no Fate. In the original, the masses depended on Fate to make them feel more at ease. Fate is a computer that would tell the people (via radio) the news the need to know and even tells you what the weather will be to the minute. Because of Fate everyone feels comfortable and safe. But what people don't know is that while Fate exists, it has no radio voice. That voice is provided by Lewis Prothero (who appears in the film as sort of a British Bill O'Reilly) and he does a good job and has a voice that exudes confidence and in turn, gives the people confidence in there government. But when V strikes and drives Prothero mad, then there must be a new voice for Fate. The new voice quivers and stutters a bit. It's a new voice and it lacks confidence. And now the people lack confidence, if just a little. But in the film we never get the feeling that people love their government or that people are afraid to speak or act. I don't think Fate HAD to be in the movie (despite being a very important plot point in the comic), but I would like to see examples of the judgment and actions of the people changing over the course of the year.

I guess I have many more problems that I could go on and on about (V and Evey don't fall in love and their relationship is so much more complex than that), but my feeling is that V is a good movie that just pales in comparison to the original, and watching the movie after reading the book is a frustrating experience. There are two moments that perfectly capture the feel of the original: the surprisingly gentle scene in which V kills Delia (they take one notable liberty, but the feel is still there) and the scene in which Evey is captured, tortured and everything that happens until her "freedom" (though, the latter is undercut by an apology). Plus the sets and art direction does a good job keeping everything drab and grey (that's England for you).

So if you see the movie, don't read the book first. It will ruin it for you.

In other news, here are some comic book movies I'm looking forward too:

Superman Returns: Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor? Brilliant. I like Gene Hackman, but his Lex Luthor was really more like the character of Funky Flashman (a huckster who is a thinly veiled spoof of Stan Lee) only more sinister. Gene Hackman certainly had a perfectly evil Luthor and rather clever, but the Luthor I love is less goofy and plays mind games with people for fun (like destroying a poor waitresses life by offering her everything she could ever want). It's not just that he's a criminal, but the man hates Superman with a passion and wishes him the worst kinds of harm. While Superman is the perfect fantastical superhuman, Luthor is almost the perfect human (except physically). He's a master of many sciences, a captain of industry, a criminal overlord and his strategies are beyond reproach. But while Superman is the ideal human of an optimistic world, Luthor is more like the cynical evil of the cruel real world. In short Superman is Christ and Luthor is the Antichrist. Or Satan. I haven't decided yet. Kevin Spacey seems like a perfect choice for someone so sly, subtle and intense and is reason enough to check it out. Sure, it just looks like it will be good but come on. Kevin Spacey!

We3: It's like Homeward Bound... except that the animals are lethal killing machines. The government has kidnapped three household pets and have rewired there brains and put them into large mechanical suits and turned them into a most unusual SWAT team. The team consist of Bandit (the dog/the heavy), Pirate (the rabbit/demolitions), and Tinker (the cat/stealth assassin). They have already completed a few missions and have trained to be a team and can even talk to each other. But when the government orders the project decommissioned, the scientist who made it all possible refuses to let her animals die frees them. Is the world ready for housepets with army-devastating firepower? And what weird weapons will the government use to stop them.

From the mad mind of Grant Morrison comes one of his least bizarre works, though the premise still retains his trademark innovation. The mini-series that the film was basd on perfect for a movie in that it was of perfect length for a movie (three short issues) and had amazing action scenes and bloody violence, yet was poignant and touching with the animals being really likable. Yes, they can talk, but when you read how they talk they are clearly still animals. Bandit just wants love, to be recognized as a "gud dog" and to find a home. Tinker wants nothing more than to be left alone but follows the others around anyway (despite hating almost anything that isn't him) beacause they need each other to survive. And Pirate just wants safety and a nice patch of grass. Equal parts horribly violent and touching, if done correctly We3 could be the most unusual action film of all time.

30 Days of Night: The premise of this action/horror flick is that vampires are among us, but they never really get the chance to let loose and go on killing sprees for fear of being discovered. But one vampire hears of a small town in Alaska that has no alcohol, is completely isolated and has 30 days of night. Then he calls some friends and decides that it's time for a vacation.

A fun little comic, this was originally pitched as a movie but no studio took it. It was then made into a comic, which got Steve Niles a lot of attention and since then Steve has been considered the #1 horror comics writer working at the moment. Though only big for three years, he has proven quite prolific and his attention is putting the comic based on a screenplay on the big screen. In all honesty, even as a comic this is a popcorn movie, albeit a fun one. If the writer tries to make it like an 70-80's John Carpenter movie (like say, Assault on Precinct 13 in Alaska with vampires) then it should be good.

300: Based on the 5 issue mini-series by Frank Miller (Sin City), this is the story of the battle of Termopylae and the 300 spartans who were forced to fight a much larger army. Rather than trying to just be your average "historical" (the quotation marks not that I use the term loosely)epic like Gladiator and Kingdom of Heaven, the film will be more of a personal story of one of the soldier forced to fighted against insurmountable odds. I never read the book but the are is amazing and every time I go to strange the $40 hardcover is staring me in the face saying "BUY ME!" Frank Miller isn't as involved with this film like he was with Sin City, but Frank is definately looking forward to it. And so am I.